I wen grad high school and was I getting ready to leave for the army when my girlfriend wen just broke up with me-- because she no like long distance kine relationship, yea?
Needless to say, the bradda was bummed- dejected, rejected, and like go hemmo jag himself. I was SAD, CRITICAL condition, my heart wuz BROKE. No laff bra', you would be too.
So-- two buddies of mine decided they would help me get over her before I left and took me out to the wave break by Kahalui Harbor, you know where stay? Harbor Lights side... yea, yea, SO... it goes out about half a mile, maybe less, into the harbor and is made up of all these "three fingered" pylons that break up the wave as it goes in the harbor... yea, yea, sooooooo...
We wuz drinkin', rum, crown, and tequila and WE wuz mixin' 'em with whateva we had, and we WUZ DRINKIN', and it start for RAINING on our heads and we NO care cuz we wuz DRINKIN' and gettin' STUPID... and lighting an' thunder buss our ears and we no care cuz we wuz STUPID from DRINKIN' ... .and we wuz down at the end of this thing water all around us... and we NO CARE...we wuz dancin' in the rain like some mental lolos just let out from the lolo farm....
SO- while dancing like a hula girl with ukus in her grass skirt... I wen knock over the tequila bottle and broke 'em....and I was SAD again... I know, same one.. wuz one worm inside and I wanted for eat 'em... eh.. I told you we wuz gettin' stupid... so I picked up the broken bottle- ALL SAD- and the fumes of tequila hit me in the face... NOW I wuz really pathetic... cause noooow I have for puke...
SO- I ran to the side of the wave break and my friend wen grab the back of my pants so I no fall in... and I was leaning way out at one angle, spread eagle... cause I no like my clothes get mess up.. know wot I mean?.... but what I care? I wuz all WET anyway, but like I said I no can think from being STUPID cuz I was drinkin' like one lolo in the rain in the middle of the harbor...
Soooooo, I hanging off the side and my friend was holding me from the back of my pants and then he tells me... "Bra' try wait, I have to sneeze"... and he go lets go of me to cover his nose !!.. NOW he's thinkin' about manners? SO me with no one holdin' I let out one scream :"ARRRRRARRRRGGGGGGG, JESUS HELP ME I no like dIEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!"
And I wen drop 30 feet to the frigid water below....it was COLD bra', freezing, my whole body wuz one big piece chicken skin and I hit so HARD face first... it knock ALL the stupid out of me....
I wuz never critically lolo again... .and that ex-girlfriend... if she reading dis.. she can call me at 1-800-KISS-MY-OKOLE !!
About Author
Craig Nakagawa was born in Germany, but his father was born in Hawaii and moved the family back when Craig was real small kine (18 months old). He grew up in Kula & Kahalui, Maui and grad from H.P. Baldwin High School (da BEARS!) in 1987. nHe served in the Army from 1987 to 1994 at Ft. Bliss, Texas (2 years Active and 7 years Active Reserve). He attended The University of Texas at El Paso, getting his BA in English. He now lives in Albuquerque, New Mexico working as a Personnel Recruiter for a large bank. He has been married for 8 years and has one daughter, Jade Akela and one child on the way-- if it's a girl: Mia Kiko, if it's a boy: Kai Taro.
