|Written by Armand Ines|
This story wasn't from when I was small kid time but I thought it would be funny to share it with da ohana.
If you are from Hawaii, you must know all about the Filipino accent (buk buk accent). We were raised with all those Filipino jokes and culture. My story sounds mo better in person but I will try as best as I can to spell out the "accents".
It happened back in '95 when I was still working at Long's Drugs. Every now and then you run into those customers with bad accents. Some are easy to understand, but other times it's just too hard!
One day this old Filipino lady came up to me and said, "Excuse me boy, whea is dee SOOS?" I thought she said SAUCE so I said, "Oh, wat kine SAUCE?" She replied, "Dee CLEANER." I got all confused and said, "Da CLEANER?" She replies, "Yeah!" So she then takes me to where she usually gets this SOOS. When we got there, we ended up in the aisle with the mops, sponges, and scrubbers. She then pointed to an empty shelf. When I realized what item belonged there I tried not to buss out laughing. I then said, "Ohhhhhhh, you mean da S.O.S.!!" She said, "Yeah dee SOOS."
Another incident was when this other Filipino lady came up to me and asked, "Hoy, whea is your KAKAROATS?" Then I said, "COCKROACH?" She replied,"Yeah." So I then take her to the Raid and roach sprays. Then she got small kine piss off and said, "NO, dee CEREAL!" So I'm thinking, "WHAT?" and I asked, "COCKROACH CEREAL?" She says, "Yeah, da one on sale!" All confused, I looked at the ad for a CEREAL. Then again I tried not to laugh and said, "Ohhhhh, the QUAKER OATS!" She replys, "Yeah, da KAKAROATS!"
One of my co-workers back then was named LIEZL(pronounced LIE ZELL). But at work she used another name instead. One day her fadda (had one bad accent too) came in da store and asked another co-worker, "Whea is LIEZL?" Then my friend took him to da LYSOL disinfectants!
I tried telling my aunty these stories but she already knew what I was talking about before I got to da punchline. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed my stories and share them with other local people. There were plenny more incidents but these were the top three. Aloha and Take care!
Armand Ines originally is from Milililani, Oahu. (Moanalua '92 and Leeward Community College) He moved to Washington state in 1998 to work as a graphic designer. After graduating from the Art Institute of Seattle last year he settled in Tacoma. "Keep spreading the aloha!"