Lass night was sitting around wit some old 'lanai' friends sharing stories about things we did as kids. I was telling about the time me and my friend ran away and someone said "Eh that would make one good story foa da hanabuddah days page." At first I was like "yeah right" but den, well maybe so shoots going try chance um. Dis my story an' I sticking to it.
Who is da lolo who stole da pakalolo? We wuz like thirteen or fourteen and we, well I, ran away from home. My friend decided to come wit me. So we stay cruising and kinda bored and didn't know what foa do wit our selfs. We was only like two miles from home. Wen start getting late so we was saying "Wea we going sleep?" Den my friend said "oh hey we can go stay my old house get one puka in the floor of the bedroom we can use foa get in da house." Shoots off we go.
So we get there and I'm tinking oh my god dis ting going fall on us stay so hammajang already. But back den I had no fear, all guts no glory. So chance um. We get in to the back bedroom and someone had put three big garbage bags in there. It didn't smell stinky felt like yard rubbish so we used um foa pillow and went sleep. I guess I got up about three a.m and was so cold. My friend, a skinny Filipino girl, was curled up in a ball. Gee da smart huh run away, no food no clothes and now cold like hell. I wen feel bad cuz I felt like I was responsible for her. I took off my jacket and put it on her and saw her relax litto bit den I wen lay back down and try foa go back sleep. We wuz stoners back then and I was getting the munchies and wuz tinking 'hacum?'
Da sun was just coming up, the sky was juss starting foa chase da dark to da oshen when I started poking at da bag we was sleeping on. Sudddenly I was shaking my friend awake and was like "Oh my god check it out, girl look wut get in da bags!" She sat up and we made pukas in da bags and holy cow. Three big bags pakalolo. We was sleeping on a stoners paradise. We'en jump up and at first was like how we going get dis outtah hea, whose one is it? Dang need foah clean and dry um. We was real lolos but we knew wuz no wayz we was going walk like wot, three miles wit dis stuff and not get busted.
So we decided screw running away, we going get my friend's braddah. He was oldah and had one car. So we beat feet back to her house and tell her braddah come wit us we need help foa get dis stuffs. He was so prick, he said "no". Den we told him was three BEEEG bags weed. Deeeen he like make deal. Funnit now he like some too. But we figgah das ok get plenny.
So we go back ovah da old house and we run insai and grab da bags while her braddah sit his okole in da car. Wut'evahs, so we trow da stuff in da cah trunk and bag go back to dea house. Took um all in her braddah's room. Was separate from da house das why if my aunty saw dat she KILL us. Foa a moment we only LOOK at um. Wow!! Look all dat weeeeed. Mmmmmmmm.
Now da work starting gotta clean and dry and bag da stuffs. So all us, me, my friend, two of her braddahs and da braddah's friend cleaned and cleaned and cleaned foa dayz. Finaly pau and we get um drying. Wen was pau and ready we'en bag um all up. Den ho man, me and my friend was so mad cuz her brother gave us WUT? ONE gallon bag! Is he kidding??? Had plenny. Wut he going do wit all dat? We got so mad but he said if we no like it he going kick our okoles and take the bag back. So we took the bag. Took us like three days to burn dat bag down.
Den one morning we wuz rolling and smoking in the down parking lot below the pool at school before class an heard "Eh wut you guys doing?" some one yelled "Nutting." but was too late we knew we was busted. One of da maintenance guys, braddah of the guy whose weed we kaiped, comes down and takes us to da office. So we get called into the principal's office and he puts da bag on his desk and ask me "You have anything to say about this?" and me the tiddah I was most of the time says "Yea. Wea da rest of da weed cause das not all of it !!" Poor guy nevah know what foa say den I wen back dat up wit a sassy "and can I get that back wen pau?" Oh dang he call da cops! I was cracking up laughing and stuffs making jokes, they took us all to the station and had us together in one room, still laughing.
Den, IN WALK MY MUDDAH. Oh you would have tot someone wen rip da head off my teddy bear, worlds collide and stars die out but now I wuz about to die. I stahted to cry and was begging da cop keep me. One cop smiled an said "not so funny now huh?" Man I got my okole beat. We ALL got in troubles. But az one of dem things you do dat later was juss too funny, stupid, but funny.
An oh if you wondering about da guy whose stuffs was, I don't think he evah foun out was us had take um. But us heard he was gonna KILL da guys if he foun' um. Man we was some lucky litto kids. Shuush no tell eh cuz I hea dat ohana no forget da kine stuffs... Aloha! No names to protect the guilty!
PS: So you fallah know, I oni wen smoke weed like two years of my life and just look da damage. And you tot all dis time my muddah had drop me on my head baby time.
About Author
Grew up a Navy brat until my mom met and married my sisters dad. A guy from Kona, he had joined the army during the Korean War and never went back to Hawaii, and had never told his family he was alive and in Cali. So my mom tracked down his sister Vicky and the next thing we knew we was living in Honaunau on the Big Island on five acres of over grown coffee just upwind of Hing's Pig Farm. Went to Honaunau school in '76 and '77 but moved to Ho'okena school the last 2 months of 8th grade so I wen grad 8th at Ho'okena. Side door at Konawaena cause back then if you got hapai you had to leave school. Had my son my junior year and would not change a thing. I did get my GED when he was 3 years old a year after my class. Now I live in Vegas where my two sons and my hanai daughter also live. I have two daughters still in Hawaii, one in Kona and one in Pahala. I have grand kids as well. I love my kids with so much of me it can hurt and I love my ohana, real and virtual. You guys da bestest. Aloha
