My hanabuddah story has kept me focused and determined for the past 36 years.  Harvesting opihi and seaweed, dancing around the May pole, making leis, laughing, ono food and a lot of love are all part of my collective childhood memory ! I still hear the echo of the cry "Manapua" in the streets.  Why I even knew how to work the shave ice machine by the time I was 5 years old!  The Market place was an adventure where you could see huge fish being brought in by big beautiful Hawaiian fishermen. (as a child of course I did not realize how dangerous it could be down there!)

Then my mother sent me on a vacation to the mainland, only when I arrived in California - I found out it was not a vacation, but something called - adoption. 

Terrified, and ripped away from my home I only had my memories to comfort me.  The mainland was a strange land for me and the new family was even odder!  My first return trip to the Islands after having been given up for adoption was in 1974. 

I was the 1974 Miss Nisei Week Queen from Los Angeles, and I attended the Cherry Blossom Festival. (I was the first Hapa Queen in the history of the festival - and it rocked the boat!)   I was heartbroken because my adopted parents forbade me from mentioning my Hawaiian heritage or that I was adopted. 

There had been both good and bad feelings about my mixed heritage from the Japanese American community  and my parents did not want to cause any more undue attention to it. I had just turned 18 years old and was very young.

My hanabuddah memories were my life-line to my heritage. I would wrap those memories around me like warm blanket on a cold night, and the memories - like the healing waters of Hawaii - would soothe my aching homesick heart.  Now I am on the verge of seeing my dreams come to pass. I will be moving home soon, within a few months in fact. As a gift, my husband recently bought 10 acres for me on Big Island. Since we married, his quest has been to return me to my homeland.  We will soon be seeing our dreams come true!   (and hey - he cooks too!)

It has been a life long journey - returning home.  I feel rather beat up !  Kind of like a salmon I suppose ! But at least I'm coming...... HOME.....AT LAST !!